1/2/15

New Year's Resolution - 2015 Here I come!!

* Write in my blog more often
* Get my art resume updated
* Run your own race. 
* Sign up to NYC and Marine Corps Marathon lotteries and Sign up to Rehoboth Marathon and North Face Endurance again! 
* Don't try to fix everyone's problems, let people live out their choices on their own....
* Be more conscious with money PLEASE!
* Find other ways to give gifts that does not require $, bake for them, help them out, cook them a dinner, listen to them....write them
* Trust your first impressions, they are almost always right on target, stop doubting yourself so much
* More morning runs (Please, catch more sunrises this year)
* Continue to floss EVERY day.....(I have bad teeth, okay!)
* Reach out to all people who matter.....stop wasting precious time thinking you have time....we may not
* When with the kids, live in the moment...soak it in. They are only young once. Cuddle with them as much as possible....soon it will be uncool to even cuddle. 
* Assume the best first, always.....going to the worse conclusion first makes me into a bitter person
* Forgive, forgive, forgive....seriously, let go of those unhelpful thoughts and get over the small stuff....forgiveness heals the forgiver
* Be the best and most supportive great-auntie ever!!! woot woot!
* Pray more, pray with my kids, be open about what you pray for ...encourage them pray too.
* On Facebook: no more than 10 minutes a day...live life, don't spend most of it watching others live theirs. 
* Make art daily....it does not have to be the next solo show.....just make art, it makes more happy thoughts, happy moments. 
* Time to close the thought door to some folks who have caused pain in the past, and are still populating my mind...good bye already! 
* Get rid of clothes you do not wear....donate them....gift them away
* Place all art I make, no matter how small, on Etsy....just a year experiment.....let's see what happens...
* Read some of my blog posts to my kids.....I realize they don't know that side of me. 
* Take more family portraits....stop being the photographer always....kids need to see more of mom in the albums. 
* Help kids with their BIG ideas, no matter how silly they seem at first. Encourage their BIG dreams by providing what they need to make it happen....(but don't become the primary driver of them. )
* Be present with kids...get off the damn computer already and be PRESENT!!! 
* With hubby, don't hang things over his head if something did not really bother me.....be unpredictable for once and just let it go. 
* Water.....drink more water.....maybe get a water bottle that works 
* Continue more art playdates with whomever wants to make art AND deal with my kids at same time
* Run without music once in a while....don't be afraid to hear breathing for an hour.
* Let inspirational people inspire you, and if possible, let them know just how much they affect you
* Volunteer with kids....make it count
* When the kids want to do something, make time to do it.....fully
* Write letters.....and send them
* Leave for work on time.....allows you to drive safer
* Kiss kids and hubby every day before work
* Hug kids more.....lots and lots of hugs a day
* Cook better dinners damn it.....how about COOK dinner?
* LISTEN to what is not said....try to listen to all that is being expressed
* Tell each child what they are good at on a social-emotional/ personal level.....(not academics, or club talents)
* Clean up apt. more often so kids can have friends over more. Come up with a sustainable clean-up system
* Invite more people over to dinner



1/1/15

Moving Beyond Seeking Approval...

             Growing up is tough. I use to need, crave, and work super hard for approval from all those around me. The focus was never about me and my needs, but it was more always about getting that "stamp of approval", and at all costs.  To worsen it, when you get those around you used to you being this "flexible" (to put it mildly), they soon learn to use their approval (or non-approval) to sway your actions. Altogether, I've learned that being so needy takes a heavy toll on any relationship. This week, I realized I was finally free of this need to be anointed the ever-important stamp of approval, of wanting to be on good terms with those around me at all costs. While, yes, I do, of course, want peaceful and civil relationships with those around me, I do not need any relationship to be in perfect balance for me to be fine. I now know that simply because someone chooses to withdraw their affections towards me that it does not mean I necessarily NEED to do anything.  Well, oops, that is not entirely true. I do DO something. For example, if someone says something hurtful, I may emotionally retreat, I may need to re-define what my specific needs of this person are....but what I now realized is that I do not need to directly or engage with someone else's conflict. This may be 'small potatoes' for some of you, but to me this is incredibly liberating. I guess you can say I've officially 'flown the coop'.