5/2/09

Forgiveness.....



I am all the things I feared I'd become..... yet I am okay. 

When I was a teen all the way up to my 20s,  I feared gaining weight, I feared not being liked,  I feared being alone. My stress over these things torqued me tight and did not allow me to act normal. I tried tirelessly, yet uselessly to control all aspects of my life to avoid even a tinge of suffering. 

Yet, like a finally-aware child getting his vaccines at age 4 and gladly realizing that all that accumulated fear of needles had been unfounded.....that ultimately it was juts a pinch!!! ...I too noticed, these fears were just a pinch.....

At 35 I have been to the other side of these fears and see that they are not to be feared at all. I have perfect vision, strong legs, healthy hair.  I am a fiercely loving and  thoughtful mom and a faithful and caring wife.  I have amazing friends that love me and my mind sits peaceful even while the world around me runs around frantically. 

Wow, what an amazing blessing clarity is once you have it. 

The best thing about clarity and peace within is the gift you give those around you. Once a person feels they are not being judged or scrutinized mentally they ease into your space. It happens in that hidden wordless communication level, but it is as real as any form of communication. 




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