On a road trip to Florida

       It's my spring break and we'll be driving to Florida today with my husband and 2 kids (age 8 and 5)....well, first to Georgia, then to Florida the next day. I am taking all my running gear and my juicing gear, and the parrot gear (we have an African gray), and the computer gear with cords, and chargers....just overwhelmed just thinking about it. Will be posting pics from our family adventures this week. 

We're making Valentine's cards for mom's job tonight

2 nights ago the kids made their cards....now I want to make my own!!! Will post pics in a bit!

My Running MUSTS List......

Here are some of the items I use daily when I go for my runs.....I had to get used to my Brooks Pure Connect shoes but I am very, very happy with them. They are minimalists, incredibly light and just get better the more they are used. Mine are in yellow and you can see them a mile away in the dark. Great reflectors. 

Brooks PureConnect: 

Pepper Spray: Because I run at 6am and the sun does not come up until 7am I carry pepper spray with me....in my hand. I know it sounds a bit extreme, but there is no one else out there at this time except a few runners here and there and then I'll run for blocks and blocks with no one in sight. I am a mom and I'd one day love to be a grandma...so I'd rather be safe than sorry. I got mine from Dicks Sporting goods in Maryland, in the 'hunting' section. If you have kids you need to make sure you tell all of them not to use/touch it. 

Kickbooty Tech Stretch from Athleta: These pants are both warm, fitting well on my non-so skinny figure and dry overnight if handwashed. They also have the ability to wick a lot of sweat......I need to buy a few more pairs...

reflectors....a huge MUST if running in low lighting.....

when running in sunny days....I always wear sunscreen. Not getting any younger!!

I use this to keep track of calories burned and heart rate. Comes with a strap that goes across your chest, under your clothes....very easy to use. 

When running I listen to fast merengue music always. It matches a very fat foot pace and you can't help but to keep up with the fast pace.

Never Say Never - In parenting we learn too

                        If there is something having kids does to you is it teaches you to never say 'never'. Back in the day at the beginning of my mommy journey, I had no idea that through the course of being a mom I would be forced to become an expert on things I would have never dreamed of or ever cared for. Currently, my daughter, who is 5, is obsessed with Justin Beiber. She loves to learn lyrics to songs she hears and on youtube they often have the song paired with lyrics making it easier to help me help her learn words to her favorite song. It was one video of him singing and she began asking me to search out more of his songs....and the rest id history. It was THAT fast. For those of you who would not be able to pick this guy up from a line-up, think of me!!....I could not either, about 2 months ago. Now, I know ALL about this young celebrity, and I must admit, I actually think he's quite talented. I now know all his lyrics, I would easily be able to pick out which songs are sung by him, plus, I know lots of miscellaneous facts about the young man that now fill my head for no reason other than to be able to communicate and speak with my daughter on her interests. 

                 Now, don't think for a New York minute that you are exempt to this phenomenon. this experience I just described is not an exception to the rule, this experience is not a singular, one-time, freak incident of parenthood, this is a reality for ALL parents, plus, it happens many, many times, as the child grows. To illustrate, when my son was one and half he was obsessed with school buses, then trucks, then trash trucks, then construction trucks. Oh, how we'd run to the front door of our home each trash-pick-up day and observe the trash being hauled away and the school children being whisked away to school. We'd all wave frantically at any and all yellow buses as if someone we knew or loved was each of them. Furthermore, my husband and I learned the official name of all the trucks on any given construction site and bought videos and books pertaining to the world of trucks. Now that he is eight we are also experts in baseball, football, outer space, Einstein, basic physics and the list goes on and on. 

             You might go into child-rearing with a certain plan, a certain idea of how YOU are going to run this 'ship'. But we soon learn that we are not in control of who this little person wants to become. We find that the word 'never' has no place or power in this new reality. For example, I went into parenting thinking ' I am not a sports fan, I hate organized sports', but just a few short years later, I am  cheering like a crazy woman at your son's Little League baseball games and simply loving it. You see, this reality of parenting is not by any means a negative thing, on the contrary, it is an absolutely wonderful thing to go through (if you have the right perspective). Allowing the narrative of your child to unfold as his soul intended makes child-rearing into a true adventure for us. It breaks us open from our own pre-set, self-imposed limitations and makes us better. We soon abandon our need to make this child into anything we thought up and come to realize that he came here with his own set of instructions, and we are just there to provide support.  I strongly propose having fun with it and staying wide open for becoming, in essence, love. For it's this deep love for our family and our little ones that help mold us, slowly into much more open human beings. 

One benefit to running.....

I have now been running since July of last year and there have been many benefits to adding running to my daily routine. Today I am going to only talk about one of those benefits; its ability to teach you how to handle discomfort more gracefully. 

On any given run one comes across killer hills, sudden leg cramps, even slight discomforts that may come, yet, within just a few blocks all is back to normal again, this may happen several times in a run and at the end of each discomfort everything always feels just fine....a few blocks later. Similarly, in my daily life, I have noticed that when I come across annoying, uncomfortable and mood-altering situations in I now react to them much differently than I did before running entered my life. I know that with time, anger, moodiness, contempt will all pass and I'll be fine. All that's required is full, unquestionable acceptance of the negative mood (not fighting it) and patience. 

Last week I woke up moody, I went through the whole morning with this added heavy cloud hanging over me. Typically, needing to rid myself of the discomfort of this bad mood, I would have either started a fight with my loved ones, or would have turned every situation to some negative result where I would have to later dole out apologies of all sorts. This time though was different, I chose instead to simply allow the dark mood to live in me as long as it needed to be there, that I would not fight it. I treated the negative feeling like a ball of bad energy that would soon fade to nothing and leave my body. Sure enough by the evening I was fine, the cloud had lifted, the mood had left my body as trusted it soon would. I felt so incredibly proud of myself for I came out of one of these moods unscathed. In the past I would have surely done some damage along the way in my attempts to rid myself of the discomfort of the bad mood. Not this time. This time, I had not gotten into any fights with anyone, I did not snap at anyone, I did not even negatively react to the many normally annoying situations that popped up on any given day. 

I see running as the Universe's gift to me this year; I simply cannot imagine my life without it. The benefits that running have brought to my life in just 6 months are so numerous and so amazingly life-changing that I cannot help to want to try and convince everyone of them....

More ornaments from this evening's creative session

This was some packing material for something I had ordered. I used a thick thread to stitch the two parts together. 

This too was packing material from something, perhaps the computer I got a few months back. The gingerbread men are a bit skinny, but they are very cite together. 

Luke made these 2 'candy canes' with carton from a cereal box that was in the recycling bin. 

On our walk back from the park Nora and I collected these pine cones. We painted them with silver paint and after it dried, we added gems to two of them. They each have a gold-colered ribbon.

Luke made a huge 'L' ornament for his name. 

Inspired by the heart one I made yesterday, Nora created one with gems. Mine had button decorations. 

This is a stocking made with the same packing material from the previous ornaments. 

Nora, my 5 year old stitched this heart ornament all by herself. 

Ornament Making Evening......

I love making art out of trash...what better time to do this than the Holidays....The kids and I sat down tonight and made some ornaments from whatever was around....You will need trash, scissors, a great glue (tacky glue works best), ribbon or string.....

This tiny 2" gift box cube was made from a recycled box we got from the trash room. 

The snowman came from some ribbon and old greeting card stock I had leftover from last year. The arms were just colored black and cut into branches. 

The best purchase any mom of a girl could do is buy a huge box of gems for all sorts of projects. Above is Nora's name in gems.....

 I love buttons, especially layered buttons. The heart shape was cut from a cereal box we got from the recycling room in my apt building. 

I have a heart-shaped Fiskars puncher and we cut out some hearts from unwanted magazines we got in the mail. The wreath shape in the back is the top of an oatmeal container. 

This tag was made from a very nice box that was in the recycling box in our floor. I used sharpie to write the words 'Love' on the front. 

Th backing is cereal box cardboard. We used tacky glue to glue on these petals that were leftover from when we were making barrettes. The buttons, shiny stars and gems we also had laying around, leftover from past adventures. 

This again is the cardboard from a cereal box. To create a gingerbread house look I needed lots of colors and textures. I used gems, buttons, cut up magazine paper and shiny decorations. 

Luke, my 8 year old son did this one all by himself. He cut out the hearts with the Fiskars puncher, colored them green, then found shiny red stars and blue gems to go over each heart. The framework for the wreath is the top of the oatmeal jar. 

This beautiful flower is a water bottle cut up. The middle is decorated with gems, Nora's idea. 

Nora did this flat bulb. She gemmed both sides. 

This is the top of a huge jar. Nora gemmed the inside. 

N for Nora.....

This year's lessons

                                This year has just been full of new lessons for me, I feel like I've gone back to college, but am actually paying attention this time. It's been like a really easy AP course on life, what an adventure. I wanted to share a few of the ideas I am playing with at the moment.

                                 First, there is this idea of spreading your energy. I got this idea from the great book, Notes From the Universe. The book talks about how your thoughts and actions affect every single being on this planet. Mind you, this phenomenon apparently happens even when you are not even attempting to consciously affect others. Imagine then what would happen if we actually consciously generated every thought, every action, every feeling with this idea that it's energy is going to be spread and expanded to the whole earth, heck, the whole universe. Oh yes, the book also urges you to not try to be logical about it. I too was trying to think in logical terms and about the impossibility of such a theory. But just Friday, I was invited to a 4th grade class party and the first mom I introduced myself to told me right off she could not eat the muffins at the party for she was juicing!!! Of all the parents there, me, the juicer ends up talking to another juicer, thoughts do materialize. Absolutely, our thoughts drive our world, every single solid 'thing' we see or experience or touch very much started as a formless thought in someone's head. So now, every time I have a wonderful, loving feeling or thought I imagine it as pure energy and visualize it growing and spreading out to there as a gift to whomever, whatever.... whether anyone knows it or not.

                                   Second, I am feeling beyond blessed this season. I made the most difficult choice in years of changing my job situation this past spring and after spending all summer agonizing, crying, staying up all night internally debating if I had, in fact, made a good decision, I look back now and think, 'how could I have even debated!!?' I could not have possibly asked for a better job situation; it's truly a gift from the Universe. In addition, I am also feeling blessed for all my past struggles, for my misfortunes, for the tears, the pain, the tragedies. I have various friends who are right now going through struggles and hope my words will bring some comfort. In my life, every single struggle has later revealed itself to be a wonderful, shining new beginning. You have no idea how amazing this will turn out girlfriend, and all you have to do is be yourself in the most honest, genuine way you could muster.

                                   The awesome power of inspiration as a driver of life is the next big idea I'm toying with. As an art teacher I always teach my little artists that inspiration can come from everywhere, and anywhere....that all artists, even use each others work and ides as inspiration to push forth their own work. What I always forget to mention, in addition to this, is that in regular LIFE people inspire each other all the time as well. Every single change I have ever made in my life has begun from a tiny seed planted via thought and spurred on by personal inspiration. My blind belief in the sheer power of inspiration is so strong that I also feel that negative inspiration, as positive, can be easily spread through this method just as easily. The ideas and thoughts we put in our minds turn to reality soon after, so choose carefully.


                                   So those are just a few things brewing in my world right now as the Holiday approaches. There are a few others I will post later, but this is all I can write in one sitting. This time of year I am busy generating ideas and lists for my New Years resolutions, which I take very seriously every year. Resolutions are great vehicles for setting new habits in motion in our lives and in order to be successful at my goals I need to choose them carefully.  In the meantime, wishing you all some wonderful, loving thoughts.

Even the annoying people are doing the BEST they can....

                     I heard a great quote today, something to the affect that everyone, even the annoying people we often come in contact with, are doing the best they can with what they have. I have been sitting here for over an hour trying to see what I can say or do to change someone and even at this age I have to stop myself and realize that no one....NO ONE can ever truly make someone be or do something else. You might physically 'make them' temporarily be or do something you want them to, but if you want genuineness, the pushing should not be an ingredient. So after all this mental debating I have decided to not do anything to change the other person's 'output', the work needs to happen within me.

My weight loss journey.......before and after

Now

1.5 years ago

               

                 
                      

            I have thought long and hard about how I can best help others understand just how easy this weight-loss journey can really be. The process for me has been very slow and gradual, taking many, many months of incremental progress. Yet, it can easily be followed by anyone who is not looking for a quick weight-loss fix. At first glance, the habits I currently live by such as juicing and running, which have been built over time, may seem a bit over the top for anyone just starting out, but trust me, the process has a way of changing you so that all the changes seem logical and simple as you reach each new level. All it takes is truly committing to changing one tiny habit at a time and choosing to adopt each one for the long haul. 

                          My weight-loss journey began when I stepped on a working and (for once) 'trusty' scale after not having done so in months and became horrified to see the numbers 199 lbs. flash on the screen. One stinking pound away from the dreaded 200 lbs was where all my blind living led me to. THAT moment, right there, was my ultimate rock-dead-bottom. The Universe knew me well, for had it read 200 lbs. I might have just resigned myself to being overweight. Yet, that 1 stinking pound less carried with it some hope, hope for a reversal. 
                    
                          Everyone has a 'bottom', a point they know in their soul that once they reach it, 'something' MUST be done. Bottom in this context, for anyone not familiar with this lingo, it defines the very moment one decides it's time to stop and go the opposite direction. Being 1 pound away from two hundred pounds was my wake up call, I needed nothing else to make me aware of my state.  At that moment I felt a irrevocable resolve to take this on for good, no matter what it took. I was done trying to convince myself I was okay with being big, I was done with my baggage about weight, I was done with all the excuses.....I wanted more. 

                       Around that time the Universe sent me another small gift. I also was lucky to read somewhere that cravings are the technically body's way of telling you that you are not giving it what it so desperately needs, nutrients, minerals....etc. Overweight people are overweight, I was informed by this source, because they eat too much of the wrong foods, which often carry no nutrient value. Therefore, the body keeps asking and asking and asking for more and more food to try to fill the body's basic nutrient needs.  I thought on this and decided that I could work with this logic, it was simple and clear. After spending half a day on YouTube watching 101 ways of cooking veggies I began cooking and juicing vegetables daily to see if in fact this theory was correct. I began filling my body with the 'right' types of nutrients and that made all the difference. Within days, the cravings, which have plagued me my whole life, began to subside and I had enormous amounts of energy throughout the day to the point where I would even wake up in the middle of the night to watch movies, read, or blog. This past Thanksgiving, for example, was the first official holiday in which I wasn't constantly thinking 'FOOD!!! the whole time. Food stopped being the end-all-be-all of my life and I felt free to enjoy all the other gifts such holidays provide. 

                         But juicing and eating well alone are not the fix-all cure to life-time weight control. Yes, itwill help one get rid of the excess weight super fast, yet, there are some other minor adjustment that need to also take place in order to make this journey a life-long journey of success. Below I list a few words of wisdom to help you along this journey. I wish you all, whoever you are, success in bringing health, joy and expansive love into your  world.   

1. The weight is NOT coming off with exercise. I am not an expert on this mind you, but I am an expert on my own body and have been doing this weight loss stuff long enough to speak with some authority on what may or may not work. Let me begin by saying that, we all have seen these 'Biggest Loser' types shows  on TV where some extremely fit person militaristically pushes an obese person to run 3 miles, as if that would make him lose any weight in the long-term. As a person who has severely injured herself numerous times doing these ridiculous drill-and-kill type programs while overweight, I don't think they are the way to go at all. Not to say you should no be doing SOME form of exercise. But initially, if your BMI labels you as OBESE the way to lose weight safely and fast would be through what you eat and don't eat primarily. Excessive exercise is not the way to start losing weight if you have a lot of pounds to lose.  Makes sense to me; The excess weight must come off first before a serious exercise program can even take hold. Therefore, I am convinced that the fastest, safest way to lose the weight is to eat extremely right.....period. I would strongly push for vegetable juicing (34 oz day total, or in the least an 8oz glass of vegetable juice before all meals in the least as a way to kick start the loss) I would also advice watching any and all Youtube video that teach basic vegetable cooking skills. YouTube has some wonderful videos for all sorts of recipes, they are addictive. I must add here also that starving is not part of the plan at all, you must feed your body well, period. Starving is very much like 'holding your breath', at some point you have to come up for air....IF it's not a life-long solution, why bother. The obvious rules apply, no sodas, no chips, no salty popcorn, no sugar, no white bread, and most importantly NO to tiny portions. A teeny tiny salad will only turn one into a raging cranky bitch in 2 hours, stop it!! No one like cranky...eat all you like of the good stuff and then go live life!!! But make sure you eat amazing foods.....vegetables......fruits mostly.....fill up on them, make them THE main meal, not the side dishes. Only eating right, to the extreme, will start the ball rolling in the right direction, and fast. Sounds simple, but too many people equate fruits and veggies with small portions and starving. Make them the main meal......

2. Get a heart monitor .....go online and find your target heart rate for your age and weight and make sure you reach that range for at least 30 minutes a day. No cheating, no excuses. Just set time aside and do it, don't think too long about it for if you do, you'll talk yourself out of it. You may have kids, you may be a single parent, whatever your excuse is, find time to do this as if your life depended on it. One of my main goal in getting fit began with my my desire to one day be a grandma. Ooh!! I cannot wait to see what that would be like. But not all of us will get there. It IS a matter of life and death. Therefore, making time and getting all the materials you need to make your workout fun is very important. If you need music, get music. If you need good shoes, a gym membership, a sitter....do it. 

3. This is HUGE. I had to stop blaming people for my weight issues. I did this unconscious 'cranky blaming' for years. My loved ones could not even buy me clothes without me getting all sensitive about who knows what. I have no idea what I was mad at really, yet, nevertheless it felt helpful to deflect the blame on others so that I could stay my course, it was easier than doing something about it in the end. Soon everyone knew to stay off 'my issue'. The narrative of blaming-others became a part of who I was and I never questioned this thinking until much later. You see, I had guilt-tripped every loved one enough so that no one ever dare bother me about my weight, so I was left alone.  Suddenly, I had no one else to fight against, nothing else left to defend.  I had to come to terms with my part in this whole mess, all of it. 

4. NEW life-long habits. It's not a diet, far from it. It's a change of habit ......for life. The 'for life' part is the biggie. Don't even bother changing any habit at all ever unless you can see yourself doing it for the rest of your life. Seriously, choose carefully what you want to incorporate into your routines, for if you take on too much you'll have a hard time sustaining it, if you chose too little, you'll see no change and give up. The first habit I started was juicing and having at least two 8 oz of vegetable juice a day before my meals. The weight fell off me fast, 6 months later, I started juicing more daily. I went from 2 glasses a day to 4 glasses a day and today there are days that the juice may easily replace a meal. A year later, I started jogging daily in addition to the juicing. I started with 30 minutes a day for 3 to 5 months and making sure my heart rate was 118 or more for those 30 minutes.  Notice, all these habit changes are small and very easy to do on their own, nothing revolutionary. Needless to say I did not lose the weight overnight. It took about a year to lose 30-40 lbs. But, the great news is that I have kept it all off and most importantly, I KNOW I am never going back. It's THAT simple. 

5. ONCE the weight is gone, you MUST chose a form of exercise that you can stick with for the rest of your life. There is NO other way around it so might as well accept it right now. Exercise must be a part of your life if you want to live a long and healthy life....period. Pharmaceutical companies spend millions each year trying to convince you there are ways around this supposed 'horrible fact'. You can try millions of easy fixes to lose weight, but NONE will ever work for the long run except a change of habit that requires regular exercise that raises your heart rate for a sustained period of time. This might seem gloomy to any and all who have given up on being physical, yet, the joy, energy and sense of balance I get from exercising 6 days a week makes it all so worth it. The huge secret here is that people who work out are actually not superhuman people who like to torture themselves in the gym daily. A few months back, I too would have cried painful tears if anyone would have dragged me out of bed at 6am to go jogging in the freezing cold temperature. Now, because of how amazing it makes me feel during and after running, I seriously cannot wait to get up and go running every morning...and yes, at 6am. Again, 6 months ago, this was not me.....6 months ago I had given up on ever running again. So don't worry, your mind will change once it gets what it needs and that will make all other larger changes so easy to continue in the right direction....I promise. You will do wonderful!!

6. Worth. Poeple are overweight for many reasons. My personal weight issues relate deeply to issues of self-worth. All my life I have had internal battles relating to lack of self-worth, all for reasons that make no or little sense to me now. These past struggles have manifested themselves into my body through the way I relate to it, how and what I consume, what I think of it, how I view myself or not view myself. I know that we all come here to learn many lessons, and one of mine related to overcoming this hurdle with lack of self-value. I know fairly well that I am not alone in this plight, which is why I share so openly my own weaknesses. These are very much everyone's weaknesses as well. All humans come to face similar hurdles and it's my hope that with the sharing of my own personal journey with weight-loss I can help others jump this hurdle much easier. 

                   I started meditating on the awesome and sheer value of having this life and of having a strong healthy body. I feel so incredibly blessed to be here, at this time, leading this awesome adventure with all sorts of souls. My weight-loss goes way beyond a simple physical change. It's much, much, much larger than that. This journey has allowed me to once again to feel strong, in control and has afforded me the ability to manifest my loving energy in a brighter, clearer and more beautiful way. Peace. 

                         

Thanksgiving 2012

Be yourself and live Fearlessly- Message from the other side

                   I am been thinking a lot about the special message received by Anita Moorjani, Author of Dying to be Me, after she died and came back to life. The message she received was simple and beautiful. but certainly much more complicated than I am about to describe. Essentially, the meaning of life as she was told is to 'always be yourself and live fearlessly'. She was also told during this near-death-experience that her cancer was due to having lived a life of 'fear'. Fear of disappointing, fear of fitting in, fear of dying, fear of not being enough.
   
                    Live fearlessly. As an art teacher who loves her job and who works daily to encourage not only her students, but everyone around her to just to be the very best versions of themselves, I think I am on the right track. In reflecting further though, I think it's only recently that I started living fearlessly. Only a few years back I sensed in me remaining lots of 'worth' issues, and this constant need to be what others felt I should be, rather than what I wanted myself to be. I could have easily gone along life like so many and never reflect on these big questions. Like a great friend said to me yesterday, "You can easily be 70 and have never dealt with any of your issues."

                    My self-reflective journey began with a small little seed of ideas planted in a TV show. It began by watching episodes of Kung Fu in the early 80s. Much to my family's unknowing I was slowly being trained into the basic tenets of Eastern religion and to some really valuable and life-changing concepts that would shape the rest of my life. The ideas embedded in these shows were those of having this inner knowing, the ideas of your external actions reflecting your inner self, the idea of 'working on yourself', and last, the idea that you already have all you need to be perfect. As I grew I always navigated towards authors and books that reflected those early ideas that always made so much sense to me, they spoke to my soul. I read and navigated towards books and authors that described god as love and rejected all books and religions that maintained a dysfunctional humanistic and angry versions of our god. Dysfunction, hatred, anger are all imperfect qualities and I knew deep in my hart that god was love. In love there is no room for these lesser human-made frequencies. Books became my teacher, these authors were my role models. To this day, I read books that help me change my life, make me improve my ideas and make me a better version of who I already am. To me it was never enough to just read the big name books of major religions, such as the Bible, The Torah, The Koran. I always felt that these do not have to be one's only or one's primary source of inner-reflection books. There are literally hundreds of amazing sources of inspiration out there that can be transformative and life-changing. Which one has changed your life?

                   

New Running Goals and some tips for long-term weight loss....

                   I have been again inspired by amazing people to change my life for the better. This time I have challenged myself to run 1,000 miles in one year and I am so excited about this new challenge and I know I can do it. This one challenge is inspired by a FB buddy, Heather Anderson (you know you rock). To complete the challenge I would have to run a little less than 20 miles a week for 52 weeks..... 

                  I have learned that I do much better with small and incremental changes to my daily routine and to not adopt new changes until I can adapt to the initial changes completely first. Over one and half years ago I started juicing daily and I now do it daily without a blink of an eyes. I wake up 1/2 hour early to make my drinks for the day and take them everywhere I go with me. This routine has become so part of my life that I could not think of having one day without my vegetable/fruit drink. This summer I began running in July and I now cannot think of a week going by in which I don't run at least 14 miles/week. 

Royalty Free Image 

                  This change in approach to bringing change in one's life is so easy and so manageable that I would absolutely recommend it to anyone trying to bring some positive and permanent changes to their lives. Yes, the changes to your body are slower than perhaps a crash diet might be, yet, the changes are longer lasting. Because I was able to take my time to implement each new initiative I was able to make sure that each small change was fully implemented BEFORE I brought in a new addition to my routine. 

                  When people first hear about me running, the first thing a non-runner will say to me is, "I can't run at all.", or claim, "running is not for me." Running was not for me either when I weighed 200 lbs. Not at all!! But, after juicing for a year and losing all that extra weight, running became lots more possible, suddenly I saw myself doing it in my imagination. I did not just start running while grossly overweight. That would have surely caused an injury and surely I would not have been able to continue this for long at all. We all grew up with these TV shows where grossly overweight people are being militaristically trained to do excessive amounts of exercise. But I truly believe that if you are going to run, the extra weight needs to come off first in order to make it safe for your feet and your knees and your heart....and the fastest, safest and tastiest way to do this is through juicing. A juice fast is not abusive to your body, cleans you out. It's an ultra-healthy way to lose weight compared to all other unsafe methods out there. 

                      This might not be the way most people would choose to go about becoming ultra-healthy, but it's done wonders to my life, my energy and my outlook of the world. I am glad I listened to my inner voice.....would love to hear how you changed your life around for the better. 

Social Media Allows Us To Be More Genuine, Honest, Congruent

                           I love social media. Social media has forced a shift in humans that I feel is for the better; it has forced people to be one person to all people at all times, and this is awesome! No longer can one successfully juggle various narratives of ourselves and be one person to one set of people and then present quite another face to a different set of people. This duplicitous aspect of humanity is not possible in the world of Facebook. In Facebook, for example, you are thrown in a wild whirlwind of people from all stages, ages, and periods of your life and everyone gets to see you the same way at the same time. This ladies and gentlemen is HUGE, it's absolutely revolutionary if you give it a second's thought. Where else in humanity's history has there been a forum when you can have your exes, your past high school teachers, your nieces and nephews and your elementary school friends all comment on, say, a picture or a link you just posted? The answer is NOWHERE. Because of this miraculous new form of communication we are forced to be more genuine, more one with all, more honest from the start. I love this about Facebook. 

                             If you believe in something, never hide it, never be shamed of it, put it out there for all to see, for all to comment, and openly judge. Puzzlingly, I have often heard folks say to me they purposely hold out being 'political' or 'controversial' on Facebook in fear of offending their 'friends'. That logic makes absolutely no sense whatsoever to me. When I hear this I immediately wonder if they are this way in person as well. Are they only about pleasantries and talking about the weather in person as well? I can't help but to be turned off by people who feel that FB is not for politics. If not on Facebook then where else would you speak out (or shout) about dumb rape comments made by stupid politicians, where else can one state that they support gay marriage to all their family members, or express disbelief at the ridiculous tests kids have to go through in school, or show support for any cause for that matter? This IS the forum to be exactly who you are in your brightest sense, no bars held, let the chips fall where they may. (With some limits of course, but I assume we have all had FB long enough now to know how to behave on it appropriately)

                  Hiding something in the name of 'not offending' comes across as you feeling ashamed of it, as if there were something wrong with having an opinion, or believing in a cause, or showing passion for ideas. Only in being who we are around others can we encourage others to genuinely express their own ideas, passions and true selves and that makes for a much more interesting relationship, a much more genuine interaction.  In addition, I openly welcome people to 'unfriend' me who feel I should be posting less politics and more...who knows what on my page. 

                     In many ways Facebook is a wonderful metaphor for life. The most obvious metaphor here being, accept yourself and others as we are, with our many gifts, our many quirks.  Life becomes infinitely more interesting as a result of this 'allowing'. Trying to manipulate and restrict genuine communication through fear only makes for fake relationships and reduces them to what I call, 'pleasantries relationships'. Pleasantries relationships never venture past 'talkin about the weather' carry very little impact for no one learns anything, no one is impacted, changed, inspired by such hum drum relationships. 

                 We can't change the world, make an ounce of impact, or even begin to do the work we were placed here to do if we don't show others who we truly are from the very beginning.  
                                 

                               

                         

Running, and why I love it so much.....

   I have been trying to figure out why it is that I love running so much. In my attempts to unravel this small personal mystery I have been watching all these movies about running and following people online who run, read articles, magazines...on and on. In one of the movies, I don't remember which, one runner hit the nail on the head. She mentioned how in today's world, there are very few true feelings of triumphs we get to experience on a daily basis and she added that to her, running a long run and actually completing it brings out that feeling of triumph each time. After hearing this, it all made sense and I was then able to clearly understand why I love running.

          To me, running is a metaphor for life, yet, one that's encapsulated in a tiny microscopic hour's run. Life in a bottle is you may. No doubt the run somewhat begins as a struggle. At almost 40, my knees complain as I begin my runs, my ankles take a few blocks to adjust and not feel so achy. Yet, the feeling of triumph experienced after the run has ended far surpasses any struggle experienced during the run that it makes it all worth it 1000%. This feeling has been so incredibly powerful that I don't see myself ever not running again. This thing, this habit, this tool is now mine and I am keeping it as part of my life as long as I live. In fact, the other day, I had gone two days without running, things got busy and life took hold of all free time. I did not worry for I knew it was not gone. Soon, I began having this incredible urge to run that came from deep inside and would not let me off the hook. The feeling could only be likened to a nagging craving for something you can almost taste it. This craving won't go away unless fulfilled. It's become a bit of an addiction I'd dare say, for it only takes for me to even see another runner to again feel the need to go out there myself and feel the pavement beneath my feet. I have never been happier and more balanced than these few months of (almost) daily running and most of it has to do with the benefits running has brought forth in my life. I feel strong, healthy, awake, alive.....who would want to go back to anything else?

An excellent article that explains exactly why great teachers are leaving the profession

Excellent article in the Texas Tribune about great teachers leaving education
.

For Some Teachers, Strain Runs Deeper Than Budget Cuts

• by Morgan Smith
• October 5, 2012

When Liz Peterson became an educator 14 years ago, she thought of teaching as a form of social justice. She entered the profession because she wanted to help close the achievement gap between poor students and their peers from more affluent backgrounds.

But in August, as the new school year began, the Teach For America alumna found herself somewhere she had never imagined: a private school classroom.  

“I never ever, ever considered teaching at a private school,” Peterson said. “That was never a thought in my mind.”

Since the Legislature eliminated more than $5 billion in funding from public education in 2011 some early results are easily quantifiable — like the approximately 25,000 employees shed from the state’s schools and the more than 6,200 additional elementary school classes that have more than 22 students.

Other potential consequences of the budget cut are not as easily measured. Several organizations — some with a stated agenda, like the Texas branch of the American Federation of Teachers, and one from the nonpartisan Houston-based advocacy group Children at Risk — have conducted studies that investigate the impact of budget related changes, like the loss of one-on-one time with students and teacher planning periods, in which educators have reported a loss of morale and increased stress levels within the classroom.

But anecdotes like Peterson’s point to a strain in Texas public schools that has more complex origins than 2011’s reduction in state funding. If the issues are not addressed, they could further hinder efforts to attract and keep top teachers in public schools.

Peterson taught for 10 years in the Houston Independent School District at Johnston Middle School, which serves primarily economically disadvantaged, black and Hispanic students. For much of that time, she said, she considered the district a place that rewarded good teaching and leadership in its principals. Then policies changed, she said, and raising students’ standardized test scores became the goal that overrode any other aspect of their education.

“What mattered was the test scores of the students in the classroom, not the impact that people were having on students as a teacher,” she said. “Frankly, that’s super demoralizing, spending all this extra time doing what you know is best for the kids, and no one cares.”

When it came to the point that Peterson felt like not only was she dealing with a miserable work environment but also being asked to teach in ways that did not address students’ needs, she said, she accepted a position at a private school in Houston.

“I had other options and I took them,” she said.

Gary Dworkin, a University of Houston professor, has studied teacher morale in Houston metropolitan area districts since the 1980s. He measures burnout — which he defined as a feeling of isolation that produces a sense among educators that their work does not matter — as well as the level of trust teachers have in colleagues, administrators, students and parents.

Dworkin said the factor that has had the biggest impact on teacher burnout over the years has been attempts to raise teacher quality and educational standards through the accountability system, whether through changes initiated at the state or federal level.

For example, in 2002, the first year of the No Child Left Behind Act’s application, he said burnout levels among teachers spiked. But by 2004, they drifted down because although No Child Left Behind was in place, it was not affecting teachers’ jobs in a large way because many of its measures, like forced school closures, were not happening on a large scale.

Texas is currently in the midst of such a change. In addition to the budget cuts, the 2011 school year was also the start of the state’s transition to a new accountability system based on more rigorous student assessments that for the first time will be linked to graduation requirements and students’ final grades.

Many educators welcome the higher standards and the standardized tests that are more closely aligned to state curriculum that come with the new system, but its rollout has been marked bywidespread confusion among school districts about how to apply some of its new rules, and there have been unforeseen complications of the new retake requirements. The state's implementation of the new system along with the budget cuts is also the subject of a lawsuit against the state that will go to trial in late October.

Dworkin last collected data in March. He found that teachers in 2012 were almost twice as stressed as those in 2002. Teachers’ level of trust in colleagues, parents and students has dropped from years past, he said, and for the first time, their number of years teaching or their level of trust in their principals, usually factors that would cushion against feelings of stress, had no effect.

“It’s a homogenous level of anxiety,” he said, “and especially now schools are saying it’s going to get worse.”

A lack of planning for the new system has placed unnecessary stress on teachers, said Eastman Landry, who teaches high school physics at HISD’s fine arts magnet.

He said external pressures like district and state mandates about student assessments frustrated teachers when they interfered with their ability to instruct students. But Landry, a graduate of Rice University who has been teaching for four years, said he did not sense that most of his colleagues are ready to give up on the profession just yet.

“The tone at the end of the conversation isn’t ‘I can’t wait to get out of here,’ it’s almost like this accepted feeling of being overwhelmed, and not being in control of what we want to accomplish,” he said. “Then again, we aren’t dealing with products — we are dealing with students, and there are going to be challenges.”

He said the state budget cuts had resulted in staff reductions at his school and a heightened pressure to do more with less. But he added that simply putting more money into public schools was not the answer. He said focused, effective planning, like with the institution of the accountability system, was more important.

Like Eastman, Peterson described a nerve-wracking spring as her colleagues waited to know the extent of state budget cuts. She said she did not view them as the root of issues that prompted her to leave public schools. That happened because she wanted to work with “better adults and better leaders,” she said. At the private school where she teaches now, she said, teachers are treated like professionals.

“The number of unreasonable schedule changes or administrative tasks, or paperwork is nonexistent,” she said. “The majority of my job is teaching and providing leadership opportunities for students, and that’s really great.”

A mom's wishful thinking list of prescription for how DCPS could be top education district in the world in 10 years....

" In Washington, D.C., which has seen the same pattern,effective teachers now are leaving to teach in districts in which they feel more appreciated, to the detriment of the city's students."
                                                                    -Elaine Weiss, Huffington Post

                    I read this and thought, 'when will this madness of tests, stringent teacher evaluations and war against teachers end?'.  29,000 teachers marching, protesting this decade-old, new brand of education (D)eforms.  They are brave enough to ask for more, more for their children, more for their schools, more for our country's future. This statement above is so true and I know this because I left DCPS for a place I feel more 'appreciated'. The system in DC is broken, and as my 5 year-old daughter says every time she says something slightly hurtful, 'Sorry,but that is my opinion.'. As a parent in DCPS the argument to me is not about whether to keep schools closed or open anymore, to me the argument is whether or not as a whole the system  is set up to teach our children to be problem solvers and leaders of tomorrow. Sadly it is not. 

                   I have been wracking my brain for years now to find an easy way to explain to parents (and teachers sadly) why the testing culture hurts our kids, our future, our world. When people are reassured by schools and administrators within a testing culture, NO, in fact, they don't teach to the test, this is in essence a BIG fat lie. As an educator of 15 years, I have seen and experienced how the testing culture affects everything in education. When school cultures depend largely on testing scores to reward and punish teachers, one can't help to teach to the test, it's in the DNA of the system, it drives the system.  The testing culture's 'poison' gets into the cracks of everything we do as teachers, it affects our pace, our emotional availability to the kids, our ability to teach creatively, our ability to tap into what we know works best as professionals. In essence, teaching to the test is not so bad, but the fact that the test exists dictates so much of HOW we teach what we teach. Kids come out learning that there are right and wrong answers to everything, when in fact, in real life there are often many real answers. I liken it to being an experienced surgeon asked to operate on a heart with one hand tied behind her back. We have amazing teachers in DCPS and we ask them to be less, to teach in ways we don't believe and in essence rush our way through all of it in ways that sometimes lacks connection to the children and their lives. 
                    On the brighter side, a better way is very much possible in this generation. I am very hopeful that both teachers and parents will begin to finally speak up for what they KNOW is right and against what they know is wrong. Teaching children to be leaders and problem solvers is very much more affordable and as parents and teachers we need to continue to fight and speak up for genuine learning for our children. The kinds of learning that will truly prepare them for a very uncertain future. Below are my ramblings of what I think would fix DCPS and make us top in the world. I know, a tall order for sure, but after 15 years teaching, 2 masters in education and 2 kids of my own, I think I am way overqualified to give recommendations. We have much less experienced people than me leading whole districts across the country, so, emboldened by my fellow friends in Chicago I do dare speak!!
Here they are!! 

A DCPS mom's wishful thinking list of prescription for how DCPS could be top education district in the world in 10 years....

1. Hire Daniel Pink as consultant for DCPS when hiring the new Chancellor. This is a non-negotiable. We need a BIG picture person in this position. Someone who is not just another numbers-pusher, not just another Rhee-in-sheep's clothes. Mr. Pink will ensure that the top person in this position will be, as he calls in his book, the Type-I personality. (Too long to explain here, but read the book....will change your life). In fact, I'd let him sit in on interviews for all upper level staff positions, all principal positions, all vice principal positions.....for a decade maybe. We are lucky for he lives right here in DC and he won't even need to move here with his family to do his magic. The issue with DCPS top officials is their primary motivation has been control.  They don't necessarily need to be wise, inspirational, or experienced in education, or exceptionally dynamic, or have any common sense. No, to a teacher like me, their only job requirements now seems to be familiarity with the reward/punish system they have in place and to toe the line and follow the program. This is evidenced by the mere fact that downtown folks have their own 'downtown speech dialect'. If you've ever talked to someone from downtown (I mean the DCPS office) whose worked there for over a year or more you know what I mean. To have your own dialect, you have to be super exclusive, 'no outside thinkers allowed' is not the way to step into the future. 

2. Work with local and national colleges to hire only teachers who are highly adept at using classroom-based assessments to know where to go next with children. Ultimately, this is a very astute teacher who is willing to really get to know her students and have the internal tools to know what needs to happen to get them to the next level. 

3. End any form of reward/punish system and replace monetary rewards with RESPECT. Come on!! this is easy and free. As Daniel Pink explains, monetary rewards only make people think they are doing an undesirable task. Teachers love teaching, they do it because it's their calling. Pay them a fair amount and they won't ask for more. 

4. Of course, end all standardized tests. Don't worry, those excellent carreer teachers you have just hired that know how to asses their children in their own classrooms will make sure kids learn.  Oh, and what will we do with all that money? Valerie Strauss writes, 'In Texas, taxpayers will pay about $93 million this year to administer standardized tests to Texas students . . . or nearly ten times the cost of just nine years earlier.'  93 million in one year? How did this happen? To multiply ten times in nine years we all must have been asleep at the wheel. It's sad to me when I meet a parent, and especially a teacher, who is unaware of the policies affecting their children's education, and their own profession. We can no longer afford, literally, to keep our heads in the sand. This is absolute madness and WE are all paying for this as a society. Test scores only predict success in academics, the 21st century classroom needs to prepare kids to be leaders, outside the box problem solvers. A multiple choice test teaches kids that the answers are all out there, pre-packaged, neat and tidy. Kids today will not have neat and tidy solutions handed to them, they will need to BE the problem-solvers and come up with various answers, not one single answer! The tail is wagging the dog and we have not stopped to consider what the dog wants, what is the dog for? Testing as it exists today defines for us what education is all about, should't it be the other way around?

5. All curriculum should consists of kids solving problems. Not just any old problems, interesting ones, juicy ones, relevant ones....Ones that matter to them, problems in their own communities, problems at home, problems with friends, problems in society. Tomorrow's leaders are people who will in essence have the answers to unknown problems. Writing, math, social studies, science all come into play together and at the same time when we solve problems, they should not be taught as discreet subjects. Tomorrow's followers do best on filling in bubbles, but tomorrow's leaders do best at tackling interesting, personally relevant, local problems. School should be all about solving interesting problems, with 'interesting' being the key word here. 

6. Stop all hiring of short-term staff such as TFA. As a parent I want a teacher who finds teaching a calling, not a stepping-stone to something they consider 'better'. It's like a difference between a marriage and a one-night stand. Glaring huh? They both might be great and all, but one has promise, the other is short -lived. One was chosen with very little scrutiny, the other was chosen with lots of care. A system can't just open their teaching doors to any loosely-trained 'teachers', then rage about the quality of education those teachers provide within that system. The system as a whole needs to have a higher level of scrutiny of our teachers from the very beginning. 

7. Stop giving out bonuses. Pay teachers fairly, commensurate to other districts, but after that all the extra money does nothing for anyone. Not one teacher I know is changing what she's doing in her classroom in order to get a bonus, this is unheard of. All teachers are already doing their very best every day for that is the makeup of all teachers, the promise of doing it better tomorrow is in our blood. Pursuit of mastery is what being a great teacher is all about, you either have it or not. But you certainly can't 'carrot-and-sticks' your way into making it happen. All this ridiculous incentivizing does is create negative competition in a profession where collaboration amongst professionals should be first and foremost. 

8. Let's hear from experienced teachers when making policy that effects schools. The 'control' freaks have been making policy in DC for far too long and that is making education worse. Take the control out of the hands of these inexperienced-in-education, control-monger policymakers and hand over control to experienced teachers, who are experts at their field. If this phrase 'expert at their field' and the word 'teacher' do not sound right in your mind, it's because we have been taught to not think of teachers as experts. But yes, in fact, experienced teachers are experts at their field. When I have a child development question I go to my daughter's kindergarten teacher who has 25+ years experienced and I am sure to get a better answer than a less experienced teacher any day. Call it ageism, call it whatever you like, but every major culture in the world revere their elders for a reason, if not, we are just reinventing the wheel with each new generation. Sadly, In DCPS, experience,  is not respected, looked down up even. Younger teachers are openly given much more praise by the non-experienced policymakers, principals and leaders and consequently the whole system lacks general respect for the more experienced ones.  It's appalling to see and very sad to experience this phenomenon. 

9. Lower teacher to student ratios in areas affected by poverty. Yes, more teachers, more resources, more funding for poverty areas. Teachers are tired of being blamed for 'under-performing' schools deeply affected by poverty. I put 'underperforming' in quotes because in fact, there are amazing things that go on in these schools every single day, yet, we rarely get to hear these stories. The problem comes from the fact that policymakers think of poverty in very non-realistic terms. I have long believed that education policymakers must see poverty as sections of people who just have a lesser version of things wealthier people have. Perhaps they think people in poverty just have a lesser model of car, a smaller house, a less expensive phone than say a rich person might. In fact, the reality is much more grim than that. People in poverty don't just have lesser versions of what a rich people have, instead, they lack the very essentials that make living even possible. Some children lack food, some lack physical security, some lack emotional stability, medical care, dental care, family stability, child-friendly environments, child-friendly conversations, child-friendly entertainment and the list goes on. I have also long wondered why policymakers have not yet added more resources to impoverished areas? Perhaps, it's been easier (and cheaper) to blame teachers. 
            Where will the money come from you ask? From the money we saved from no longer testing our kids of course. 

10. Cultivate our teacher population.  Every year DCPS fires hundreds of teachers under the guise of making schools better, but in fact, schools are not getting better and their own data proves that. These fired teachers, victims of the 'manhunt', are people who want to help and work with children we need their energy and stability in our schools. Yes, there will always be teachers that were not cut out to be teachers, as there will always be doctors who were not cut out to be doctors, and cashiers who suck at what they do, as there will be unhelpful receptionists....and on and on and on. But to have a yearly system primarily run on this insane manhunt to identify and fire these supposedly ineffective teachers is a huge waste of energy and money. At what point will this firing pace begin to slow down? When will the system become more concerned with primarily cultivating the ones we have left? When will it begin to primarily focus its efforts in further inspiring our effective teachers to reach even higher?