Because it is its own reward, giving is ONLY ever exhausting when we don't feel like doing it.
As a mom, and then also as a teacher, I feel like my whole life revolves around me giving of myself to all the people I love, including my students. From the moment I wake to the minute I lay my head down at night, 90% of my life is about others and I would not change a thing. I make breakfast for my kids with love, I make art for others with love, I walk my dog for an hour a day, with love, I spend time on the phone with friends, with love, I listen with love.
But there are times when I become drained and almost sick from exhaustion and these are the times, I notice, I have given without the proper genuineness in my heart. When that happens, it's time to reflect, reassess, and most importantly, pull back. It's okay to pull back.
As we grow older, and hopefully wiser, we all begin to slowly realize that we have to become our own mother and care for ourselves the way our mother would. We have to nurture our own selves and bring ourselves back UP to full strength without the help of our actual mother; oh, and this is true no matter what type of mother you might have had, we still must become THE quintessential mother to ourselves in order to help ourselves properly charge. Therefore, pulling back is healthy and gives us time to let the dust settle and be able to see everything much clearer.
How do we know when to dig in and when to pull back? Let us use our own body as a barometer. Are we rejuvenated or exhausted, or in between when we give of ourselves?. If we feel inspired, excited and settled in our giving, then giving should naturally flow from us without draining us whatsoever. When we are full of love and passion for life and all those around us, the flood of giving should be at full tilt. Like a biofeedback loop, giving with love in our heart provides us with enough reciprocal energy to fuel itself indefinitely. If that is not the case, then perhaps it's time to reflect, reassess and pull back until you find this self-charging driving force.
Examples of ways I give of myself to those around me, for one DAY and it does not feel draining
* make my kids' breakfast every morning
* make Luke his favorite fruit shakes once a day. He drinks about 3 a day, I make him his first one always
* I am present and listen to friends and family tell me about their lives and fully enjoy their stories
* I walk my dog for an hour a day. He needs the exercise and I know how much he loves to smell EVERY tree, every bush...and I let him
* I respond to students' emails and padlet comments and reassure them when I feel they need it.
* Plan to make everyone a favorite dish for the Holiday celebrations
* Write Thank You notes to parents who have sent me Holiday gifts during this pandemic...
* Forward along interesting articles to people I KNOW would enjoy them
* Share my creative process online/social media in hopes that others might also want to create and find themselves becoming more creative and innovative
* Spend time with kids whenever they ask, no matter when this is. This may be in form of watching movies with them, cuddling, cooking with them, or watching Tik Toks with them. They will not be with us much longer.... Luke has 2 years to college and Nora will soon follow.... :(
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thanks for your comment at http://mommyactivist.blogspot.com/. I may respond to your comment individually or respond to various comments through one post. Please do not use this comment area for spam or to try to sell products unrelated to my blog.