11/14/09

Pleasantries

I am not the pleasantries kind of girl. Ever since I was a young child I could immediately tell the honesty in one's voice, the sincerity in people's compliments the minute they'd say one sentence and my trust would then be built on these hunches. I am sure this faculty developed into a strong muscles after years of seeing upstanding adults be duplicitous in their lives. The examples can go on and on but that is another whole post. Also, It's not that I hate these social norms. I do follow some conversational pleasantries when I first meet people, yet after the sugar and spice of these initial conversations I need to connect with some humanity IN you in order to build trust.
I have found that people that remain in the "pleasantries" stage of a friendship or acquaintanceship too long never really let down their guard and therefore causing me to stay away; FAR, far away. Think about it. Have you ever met anyone say at work or elsewhere and a year later you realize you still do not know a thing about them? Would you trust them with your child? or your cat? or even a pet mouse? NO! Letting down your guard and sharing your humanity is part of bonding. We've all felt more at ease with a coworker or Friend the minute we find out this person has either done something hilariously dumb, or gone through an embarrassing situation. This is because temporarily the wall is lifted and we see this person's softness, their humanity!! People with pleasantries-itis does not allow this to happen. They keep things at this sterile level, never allowing you in their personal lives.



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