Let's think about this.
Control gives you power
but it's the type of power
that must be continuously tended,
Plus, if you care what others think about you,
it's not a pretty revelation
to rule by fear
On the other hand, having other's respect versus control may seem less glamorous,
immediately less tangible.
Yet, ironically, it might just bear more power than being controlling could ever muster.
In fact, people will go through great lengths to do your bidding
to please you,
to search your advice,
it brings a rich sense of value to their lives.
When you impassion a fire in others' through your actions
you bring purpose to their lives
make then feel spiritually rich,
and all that is worth it's weight in gold.
Think of it in terms of an abusive husband vs. one you look up to because you think he's super smart.
In an abusive relationship
you might follow one's ideas and commands
purely based on fear.
On the other hand, in a relationship
where you may think your husband is super smart,
you might follow what he says from sheer adoration