We need heroes to help us figure out who we want to be....

In trying to teach my 6-year-old son about flexibility, a philosophy very much at the heart of Buddhist teachings, my husband and I often talk to him about 'the kind of person you'd like to be' and how that is inextricably connected to your actions, your words, your thoughts. 

This week I find myself bracing these very simple advice as I attempt to navigate lots of intense personal decisions. My decisions are made easier by weighing each decision against the ideals of who I aim to be. But where do these ideals become come from? I find that only in experiencing our own personal heroes are we then able to firmly know what we aim to become. Who are your children's heroes, who are yours?

My heroes: (not in order of importance)

Monique: Monique was a woman I worked for as a teenager. I cleaned her house and helped her with her garden. But she was much more than an employer. At a time when there was amazing turmoil in my home her house was a sanctuary from all that. Personally, she also saw something in me that I did not think existed in me at the time; beauty. I aim to be every child's Monique every day. I want to show every child their own beauty and worth and treat them with that same level of respect I received from this friend who has long passed. 

My mommy: My mom has to be the most creative and inventive woman I know. There is nothing this woman cannot do or learn to do. I also greatly admire her ability to envision what she wants and to make it happen. Every time I have moved into a new place I have been able to use those same skills to envision my future space and not rest until my vision and the space matches. I have seen my sister do this as well, so I know we both have this gift from her. 

My husband: In trying to respect my hubby's privacy, I'll just say that he's never given me bad advice. He's a great example of how if you surround yourself with wise people, with pure and loving intentions only great things can happen. 

My Friends: I have amazing friends from all walks of life, all ages, whom I deeply respect. Each have such strong, varied and positive qualities, I love each one dearly. From each I take away what I admire and emulate some of their ways and ideas into my life. 

Some others: I have tons of other heroes in my life....Naomi Wolfe, author of The Beauty Myth, a life changing book. Katie Byron, another author of life changing books. Howard Zinn, the historian who recently passed away, he is such an inspiration.  

All that I like about these people live within me for the qualities I admire in them come together to create an image of who I aim to be.....who do you admire?