The weight of things - read the damn clues and reassess

 

                     We might be swimming along fine in this thing we call life and then every so often we get weighted down or tangled in crap we did not anticipate. This happens all the time. Then it's up to us to make it right again, so that we can be stress-free and content. 

                      In my recent past, entanglements meant loss of sleep, stress, tears, anger and frustration. I would suffer for days wondering why someone said what they said or did what they did. I would play the scenario over and over in my head and relive the moments of stress over and over again in my mind. BUT!,  Lucky for me, being 46 has lots of advantages. One, is being I don't expect much from anyone. I never really did, but now, I certainly don't need people who bring me stress in my life. 

                    Life has taught me that there are pretty much two types of people in this world. The first type are the insecurity-based or fear-based people who pretty much will do whatever it takes to address these inadequacies in ways that will never benefit you. Then, there are those who are integrity-driven, who are fearless and genuine and will never compromise their integrity for anything or anyone, regardless of the circumstances. Fear-based folks don't always know they are this way, yet, one can easily gauge from their actions for it's much, much harder to understand the actions of the former.  

                    I tend to navigate towards people whose actions make sense and whose acts I can understand and make sense. Likewise, I pull away from those whose actions make no sense to me. Congruence between what I see and what I get is a pretty easy way to see who falls where between these two categories. If I don't understand something in a relationship, I will never try to push for answers, or prescribe a solution. I see the very act of trying to laboriously work on a relationship useless and unnecessary  kind of like swimming uphill. Meaning, putting in so much effort to make things work signify that one may not get satisfactory enough results to be worth one's time in the end. And don't take me wrong, relationships may not necessarily be easy, and some are worth saving. But, the majority of the time you are in a relationship, it should be manageable, it should feel predictable and mostly simple. When relationships are confusing, weird and odd, it's time to pull back and reassess. In essence, read the damn clues girl.