8/4/09

Sadness on a Sunny Day

See full size imageStill waiting to shake this feeling
Things feel wrong even on a beautiful sunny day
I ask the Universe when will this oddness fade
and so far, the separation from my family is still so fresh as if we just drove away in our truck an hour ago.
I see the clock and think, "They must be eating now....without the kids"
"They must be waking up...without help from the kids", "She must be shopping now...and walking past all the kids' favorite treats..."
The most difficult thing I've ever done in my 36 years was drive away with all our things and the kids....
My mom waiving at her "babies"; as she calls them. Tears flowing.
Today, I hold my baby girl and smell her neck and watch her be a "picara" and know they are missing all this....
I will have to move forward, but right now I am stuck in a tangle of sad and guilty thoughts.
How do I move forward from here....any ideas?


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