Spiritual Growth of the Difficult People

Sometimes you might run into a full fledged grown-up and based on their behavior you wonder about their self-reflective abilities and level of spiritual growth. I have recently stopped assuming that simply because someone is on this earth for a few decades that somehow they would have learned how to be a decent human being. In the not too distant past, I might have invested quite a bit of time and energy trying to figure out just why this person acted in such a manner or try to figure out just the right words or actions to bring them forward. I have come to learn the hard way that some of us need several lifetimes to get it together and most importantly, I have also learned to not wait around for people to change. This way of thinking has been incredibly liberating. It has released me from wanting anything from these people and has allowed me to able to coexist wonderfully amongst them without much suffering on my part.

So next time you run into a difficult personality. Do not worry about what to say, how to say it, or what way you could possibly do to influence this person in any way. Simply allow them to be just who they are. Allowing by no means is the same as tolerating. 'Tolerating' has a sense of 'holding one's breath'. Allowing, on the other hand, has a feel of mutually and peacefully coexisting within the same space. It means not wanting to change anything that's coming at you. It means simply accepting it. Work, live and exist around these difficult beings while also fully being yourself.

Spiritual and personal growth is a type of learning we do on our own time, driven purely by our own internal drive. It's not like school where you must learn a certain topic by a certain time frame or grade. No one sits with you and teaches you how to grow as a human being; it's a very lonely and innately individual path. Also, I must clarify that by spiritual growth, I do not necessarily mean 'religious'. I grew up around plenty of self-proclaimed 'religious' people who very obviously lacked some very basic self-reflective abilities required for true spiritual growth. By spiritual here, I mean a person who continuously assesses their own words, actions, interactions, and daily lives through their own self-constructed and constantly-evolving criteria.

It seems to me that people who have been through great suffering in life find and embrace spiritual growth more readily. I began reading Zen, Buddhist and Taoist teachings shortly after hearing about them in my world religions class in a Catholic high school. The words and texts felt like cool rain on a hot day. They rang true to me as no other teachings I have encountered since. They healed my wounds and helped me redefine me to myself by who I truly was and not through my past painful experiences. I know this might sound very odd after all I have been thorough, but I feel blessed everyday to have had such tough times, for I am who I am because of these struggles. The world IS perfect as it is and I am living proof of this fact.