2/1/09

Photographers Never Have Any Pictures of Themselves

This is me at all family events...
Yeap....I cut off my hair....I cut it myself...and no, I don't like it, I'm trying to grow it back. 

I have always been the one to photograph all family events. Even when the events have little to do with me, I rarely just sit there....I take pics always; hundreds of them. Behind the camera is where I feel most comfortable. But just the other day I panicked because there are so few pics of me, what would my kids have to remember me by?  I would want them to have good pictures of me. Now, I pretty much hate most pictures of me. It's not a self-esteem thing, I like pictures of me that have a mysterious touch to them. I want pictures of me, I might take of others.  As my daughter was playing in 3" of water in the tub, I decided to take some of her and some of me. In the past, I have always taken self-portrait photos and they have been incredibly therapeutic. Having had body issues all my life I find taking pictures of oneself one of THE most amazing experiences in self discovery and healing. Current pictures obviously vary drastically from pics I might have taken 10 years ago and I welcome all change. Some women grieve and ache for their past looks, yet, I feel embracing ones changing bodies and faces is a smooth transition into getting older.        
No, I don't like smiling in pictures. 
 I like my face a lot more now, for it reminds me of my daughter's. 
 Forgot to wear my earrings...happens in motherhood. I love my nose stud, thinking of getting a ring instead. 


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