Even a Buddhist can Appreciate the Season...

This season I always miss being in my Catholic High School in NY. They always celebrated the Holidays with carol singing and the decorations filled the entire school. Interestingly, I do not think of myself as Catholic, or Christian but I still celebrate the season; plus I consider myself a Buddhist.....This last one really confuses people....."How could this be" "some might think. I have read several articles in which people mention this seemingly "watering down" of the real reason behind Christmas. I do not see this as a watering down of anything at all. I see my beliefs and traditions individualized to me and my needs. I actually see this as a break away from a way of thinking that often requires you NOT to think.

I love the Holidays, I love the colors, the lights, the camaraderie, the anticipation for great things to come and the giving. I do not feel any conflicts with the fact that my traditions might have once stemmed from a belief of the existence of a man believed to be the son of God; Jesus.....Perhaps to a devout follower of Christianity my form of spirituality might seem "watered-down", yet I cannot make myself follow beliefs I do not hold. Although I do strongly believe in a God and have witnessed enough miracles (and have had enough divine interventions) to know there is a divine order to everything we experience....I have a very hard time feeling the Jesus story....

I believe humans need rituals and celebrations and special days. For this, I love Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween. To me these days represent a day apart from the other in which we allow ourselves to be with one another in some form of harmony. I truly believe that because of the important role traditions play in all our lives, that even Atheists needs traditions.

How Does One Go On?

Devastatingly, I just read about the 8-year old who was raped (with an object) and killed by her friend's mother.  She was found stuffed in a suitcase near some creek last week.  I looked at her picture and started to cry.  The woman who committed this crime is herself a mother and I am so horrified as to how a woman could rape a girl. 

I am generally against the death penalty, yet in cases of child rape I will happily support this option....As a mother of two human beings whom I consider miracles in their own right I witness every day how TRUST is essential in having them develop into happy and emotionally healthy adults....Aside from the obvious physical damage, betray that trust when they are young and helpless and you take away their ability to trust for their entire lives.  

I have so many questions?  Did she act alone? Is she insane?  If not, why? What was going through her head? Does that mean she was abused? Does she abuse her own daughter?

This is the killer.....Her last name is Huckabee...

Thoughts Can Kill.....Question them

Hostages left a building near the American Civic Association in Binghamton, N.Y., on Friday

image from NYTimes.com

I have been just so shocked at all these people going nuts and killing off their entire family or a handful of total strangers. One of them I heard about, shot up his whole family because his wife was apparently leaving him. For all he knows that might have been one of those blessings in disguise. he could have gone on and found someone he connected with better, or better yet, he could have found himself. Some of the strongest people I know are divorced people who after their marriage find the strength to reinvent themselves and be who they never had the courage to be. 

The minute I heard about these serial murders I thought of Katie Byron saying that "thoughts can kill" and to question them often. As the simple question, "is that true" and to be open to all the OTHER possibilities that right off do not seem clear. Having considered myself an "oversensitive" type my whole life I have always allowed my thoughts to get the better of me and all my relationships.....I could easily turn a simple harmless comment into a full-fledged two-hour argument with my hubby.  Even if the comment was purposely hurtful I always have had the choice to not react.  Now,  MY OWN UNDERSTANDING is all I need. 

When I learned about Katie Byron and listened to all her books on CD my entire life changed. By far, my favorite book by her continues to be I Need Your Love-Is That True?  Until then, I had been a woman dragging along her painful childhood (along with other later tragedies).....She taught me to treat each situation in the present without the baggage from the past. I could very well say, she saved me from a life full of purposeless pain, she saved my marriage and all my other meaningful relationships.  

While we are on the topic of husbands and children I am also reminded of a conversation I had with a coworker last year. She belonged to an organized religion (One which escapes me) and we were having a philosophical discussion as all co-teachers do.  I flat out admitted to her that my husband and I both simultaneously think the children come first before each other. When I said it I did not mean there is less love for my hubby than for my children in any way but that if anything ever happened to my children I'd have a harder time recovering; I'd be destroyed. She said things were totally different with her and that you can always have more children, but that her husband was first always. She even elaborated that she served her husband dinner first, then her children.  She sited some bible passage which says this is the way to be.  After much thought, I still feel the same way as before. If my husband were to leave me today to be happy with someone else I would have a very hard time at first, but I love him enough to be happy for him. Would love to know what you think?

Eastern Beliefs in My LIfe

          Eastern belief systems speak to me in so many more ways than all other religions combined.  I grew up in a Catholic home and went to a Catholic girl's high school in NYC, yet I never felt those beliefs fit me. Life experiences only further strengthened my realization that these Catholic-based beliefs did not emerge from me naturally. In fact, these experiences delivered me to Eastern-based beliefs and have come to further reinforce their usefulness and immense need in today's troubled world. 

         One of these many pivotal moments, happened in Catholic school. A teacher, whose name escapes me,  was telling some story about God.  She described how people trembled when they saw God.  This fact puzzled me for I had no knowledge of this "scary" god and raised my hand and asked, "why would people tremble at the sight of God? Is he not a loving God?".  Needless to say, she was frustrated at my questioning of this FACT. Too much of this type of reasoning escaped me, suffice it to say that these strict and disparaging definitions of God were fundamentally at odds with my soul and what I knew God to be for me. Oddly enough, it was in this school's World Religions Class where I first learned of Buddhism and what a breath of fresh air that was. 

         In addition to this class in high school, I was introduced to general Eastern beliefs through watching Kung Fu as a child.  This is not a joke. In watching this TV show as a very young child, I readily absorbed those simple, yet powerful messages such as "suffering is caused by attachments" or how the true nature of things may not be what I believe them to be.  Too bad TV has lost it's fascination with all things Eastern, now it's all bottom-of-the-barrel reality shows that have Americans glued to the tube. 

        When I came upon Buddhism through reading late Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche's Cutting Through Spiritualism Materialism (among other books of his) I was convinced this was for me.  It felt as if all along I had been thinking and living the ideas he so beautifully captured.  You can find excepts from this timeless book at WWW.sacred-texts.com. I read other great books about Eastern beliefs from authors like Thich Nhat Hanh, Pema Chodron,  Stephen Mitchell, The Dalai Lama.  

          I do not meditate unless while walking.  I do not chant or know any chants, I do not know of or observe Buddhist Holidays. I DO live in the moment when I go about my daily chores and simply live out each task without rushing to the next. I try my best to not define my role and the nature of my relationships in any conventional standards that may limit them from their true nature.  Looking at life through Buddhist beliefs reveals the richness of life. Everyday tasks, which most people rush to finish in order to get to the "real living", become magical clear colorful awake moments.  I do not cling to labels of me. Although, I am a mother, an artist, a wife, a daughter, a teacher...I do not follow blindly the conventional sets of "tasks" these roles require. Last, my stuff (or lack thereof ) does not define me. 

          To end, I have one great little piece of a story I remember from a letter-to-the-editor written to one of those popular Buddhist magazines; might have been Shambhala or Tricycle. A mom had written a funny note about how her toddler had eaten this paper Buddha image she had very much valued. In the end,  I aim to do as the toddler did; absorb the Buddha's message, enough to allow me to connect with all of humanity and to see me in everyone.  Sadly and too often, people use their beliefs as a shallow, externally-based tool used to raise themselves above or separate themselves from others. If the "me-versus-the-world" approach rises in any believer it's not a feeling borne out of strength, kindness or compassion, it rises out of one's feeling of lacking. Shouldn't one of spirituality's goal be to make you more available, more open to all of God's creatures? 

          We are on vacation in Virginia. Have to go catch the continental breakfast.  Have a great day!!