Playing with Fiskars Punchers

Never Say Never - In parenting we learn too

                        If there is something having kids does to you is it teaches you to never say 'never'. Back in the day at the beginning of my mommy journey, I had no idea that through the course of being a mom I would be forced to become an expert on things I would have never dreamed of or ever cared for. Currently, my daughter, who is 5, is obsessed with Justin Beiber. She loves to learn lyrics to songs she hears and on youtube they often have the song paired with lyrics making it easier to help me help her learn words to her favorite song. It was one video of him singing and she began asking me to search out more of his songs....and the rest id history. It was THAT fast. For those of you who would not be able to pick this guy up from a line-up, think of me!!....I could not either, about 2 months ago. Now, I know ALL about this young celebrity, and I must admit, I actually think he's quite talented. I now know all his lyrics, I would easily be able to pick out which songs are sung by him, plus, I know lots of miscellaneous facts about the young man that now fill my head for no reason other than to be able to communicate and speak with my daughter on her interests. 

                 Now, don't think for a New York minute that you are exempt to this phenomenon. this experience I just described is not an exception to the rule, this experience is not a singular, one-time, freak incident of parenthood, this is a reality for ALL parents, plus, it happens many, many times, as the child grows. To illustrate, when my son was one and half he was obsessed with school buses, then trucks, then trash trucks, then construction trucks. Oh, how we'd run to the front door of our home each trash-pick-up day and observe the trash being hauled away and the school children being whisked away to school. We'd all wave frantically at any and all yellow buses as if someone we knew or loved was each of them. Furthermore, my husband and I learned the official name of all the trucks on any given construction site and bought videos and books pertaining to the world of trucks. Now that he is eight we are also experts in baseball, football, outer space, Einstein, basic physics and the list goes on and on. 

             You might go into child-rearing with a certain plan, a certain idea of how YOU are going to run this 'ship'. But we soon learn that we are not in control of who this little person wants to become. We find that the word 'never' has no place or power in this new reality. For example, I went into parenting thinking ' I am not a sports fan, I hate organized sports', but just a few short years later, I am  cheering like a crazy woman at your son's Little League baseball games and simply loving it. You see, this reality of parenting is not by any means a negative thing, on the contrary, it is an absolutely wonderful thing to go through (if you have the right perspective). Allowing the narrative of your child to unfold as his soul intended makes child-rearing into a true adventure for us. It breaks us open from our own pre-set, self-imposed limitations and makes us better. We soon abandon our need to make this child into anything we thought up and come to realize that he came here with his own set of instructions, and we are just there to provide support.  I strongly propose having fun with it and staying wide open for becoming, in essence, love. For it's this deep love for our family and our little ones that help mold us, slowly into much more open human beings. 

Teachers affected by disabled systems and concepts affect an entire generation of students

          
























































                   In the middle of reading my new book, Your Child's Strengths by Jenifer Fox, I realized that I seem to be on this 'system theme'. How systems are structured makes a phenomenal difference on the outcome of all that exists within this system. So imagine my surprise to find out that this author also addresses this issue of systems and their ability to inspire or break our spirit. My book fairy has been working overtime obviously for me to always run into JUST the right book. 


          One quote from this book which I love and want to use as my overall guiding post concept for my next year of teaching at a new school system was, " Strong lives are those that are marked by a sense of purpose, connectedness, resilience, and fulfillment." She continues, "Children are not different from adults. They want clear and realistic goals, expectations for their futures, and systems that will allow them to arrive at those goals feeling fulfilled and strong. They also want a voice in setting those goals and expectations for their future." 
         
             What a powerful and clear guiding post for any teacher. For the past 15 years as an elementary teacher my primary goal has always had been to help make strong lives. The corporate reformers have come to education and ridiculously complicated it into numbers and data and studies and more numbers. But education is way more simple than these researchers and business people would want you to think. Education is just about inspiration and engagement. You have both those ingredients and you WILL have success. Unfortunately today, education is driven by business-minded leaders, lawyers, economists and entrepeneours. I don't think there is one teacher out there whose head is not spinning out of control with all the new initiatives being started and thrown their way each year; it's a shame for our children and our whole country. 


                If you think the effects on our children must be minimal. Think again. How can these teachers make our children strong human beings if they themselves are attacked, belittled, blamed and their systems are specifically structured to perpetuate these negative ideas and concepts?  How can public school teachers of today reach their goals of teaching for strength when they themselves have no say or voice in where education is going in their very own profession? We don't need a fancy Harvard study or pages and pages of data to know that a disempowered generation of teachers will not and cannot empower a whole new generation of children. We are depleting our children's education from the last real resource they have to becoming strong, fulfilled human beings, an empowered and inspired teacher. 

How the simple act of noticing saves, betters and changes lives

                               The theme of my life lately has been the act of noticing. It sounds benign enough, but oh boy! does it have huge implications in our lives. It began with a movie I watched called, Twelve and Landing. In this amazing movie all the characters made life changing decisions based on whether or not they were noticed as human beings. Why does it have such an effect on people's lives? 
                                Noticing, in my experience has an anti-wilting affect on the human soul. Having worked with kids for many years, I have always experienced the joy kids feel when you see that something unique in them, and let them know it, make them aware that you know about this 'diamond nugget' you see in them. It's no wonder then, that we as adults too need this soul feeding experience.  It's human nature to have this need to not only be loved and valued, but also to be noticed and acknowledged for the our more unique and more subtle qualities. 
                                This new theme and focus on the value of attention and noticing has even made me reconsider the way I raise my own children. For example, for the past three years I have been involved in DC's education policy battle to bring back common sense into the District. Right now we have more and more testing each year, a churn of new inexperienced teachers being hired yearly despite hundreds of effective, experienced teachers being displaced by budget changes. In addition there is less and less emphasis in the arts and project-based learning due to this obsession with raising a tests score. This 'battle', as I call it, has taken me away from my own children due to countless meetings and added responsibilities. Yet, even if I were to be 'successful' in my advocacy work, I figured the ultimate return on my kids' education would have been minimal. I began this policy work as a way to better my children's education, yet, meanwhile they would have lost all this valuable and irreplaceable quality time with me. I have therefore chosen to refocus my energies on a much more sure-return on my efforts, quality time with my kids as a priority. In the act of noticing them, listening to them and valuing them beyond just because they are mine will make more of a difference in their lives than 1000 hours of education advocacy work in the District. 
                              

Why we do what we do.....(and what great teachers and hamsters have in common)

I am lucky enough to have a wonderful student-teacher helping me in the art room for the next couple of months. Her residency in my art room is her last stop before she becomes a formal, certified art teacher. Having her here with me daily has made me really think through how to put into words all I do in my classroom in order to be able to give her the best advice about the profession.

I heard the news last night about the passing of Steve Jobs. In trying to grasp the impact of this man on our collective lives, I ran across a speech he gave at a Stanford graduation in 2005. In this speech he imparts onto graduates many 'golden nuggets' of life; one of them being that you can only ever be great at doing something you really love to do. That is the number one advice I think all young people should walk away knowing about their future; only loving what you do will bring you true greatness. I included this video below so that you can walk away with some other words of wisdom.

This week in my room I have a special pet hamster occupying my classroom. His name is Hamsty and a family at the school I work at has lent her to the art class so that the 'hamster playground' the 1st grade students designed and created could be 'tested' out. The great thing about hamsters is that they make use of everything you place in their cage. One could lay a paper towel tube in the cage and walk away. Several hours later you come back and this tube has been chewed apart and turned into bedding, or kept intact and being used as a cozy bed quarter. Great teachers do the same thing. Every single experience I have ever been through relating to schools, good, bad, great or horrid is used to make us better teachers.

Walking in every morning I know I do not want to be my like my high school social studies teacher who so obviously had her 'favorites' and would blatantly ignore the rest of us who did not 'get history'. Walking in every morning I know I want to carry with me a little of Mr. Gordon (5th grade) with me for always treating each one of us respectfully. When I interact with my students daily, I know I do not want to be like my 6th grade teacher, whose name thankfully I don't remember, and who openly mocked my writing in front of my peers. Last, I absolutely want to be like my amazing college professor and advisor who, after 23 years of feeling 'never smart enough', showed me that in fact, I was a learner after all. She gave me the gift of confidence.

These great teachers we have all been fortunate enough to been inspired by are also the very ones that are always changing, always evolving, always trying to be better than yesterday. In my personal opinion, self-reflectiveness and this magical sense of resourcefulness in using one's life lessons to inform our pedagogy is the main aspect that connects all amazing teachers. The level of mindfulness and the intense thoughtfulness to the 'hows' and the 'whys' of how we might speak to our students, and the words we choose when we address them; all adds to what makes these great teachers so amazing.

Saturday morning lazy painting with kids and listening to music

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Yes, you can play with sticks....

We let kids play with toy guns,

and play video games based on death and destruction,

YET, we somehow justify a restriction on sticks

..............as if they were a symbol of pure violence.

Sticks are simply THE most amazing boy toys,

they can become anything, anything at all.

In an instant,

it's a sword,

a spear,

a laser beam,

a fishing pole,

a broom

a horse

a magic wand

a magic anything

Suddenly with a stick you are a royal king,

in a kingdom all your own.

Set some guidelines and allow

allow

allow

sticks back into your child's world......

Childhood is can't be magical without it.

Nature-ish weekeend

We hiked around Rock Creek this weekend and came upon these amazing tracks...now what could have left these? To me they look like dog tracks....

Geese or ducks.....right?
These look like to raccoon maybe? any ideas?
Luke, being a very active 6-year old, giving me a heart attack at each turn....Chris thinks I am too uptight....but, he could have fallen in and swept away....safety first!!

This was MUCH more steep than it looks in the picture. It was about an 80 degree climb....Nora (3) asks daddy to carry her....and he did. Mind you, this was labeled the 'moderate route'. Wondered how much more steep the difficult one would have been....
I announce I want to take her pic, and she posed this way herself...what a HAM!! Stripes is IN by the way....
Daddy and Luke, together forever...
The next day we went to Virginia to buy a vacuum and on my new handy dandy GPS we looked up a park....we got directed 2 miles away to Accotink Park in Springfield, VA. Amazing place, everyone was smiling, people would pass us and say 'good day', some were fishing. Luke was going crazy picking up rocks, Nora found THE perfect walking stick. The day was PERFECT....

On starting the day with a CLEAN SLATE!!

One of the most important thing to remember as a teacher and a parent is that every new day is a clean slate. Kids are incredibly sensitive people that pick up on the even most minute negative energy coming from an adult and to know that any past mishaps are forgiven and forgotten is so essential in being able to move forward. I know this because I remember just knowing my 'place' in the class based on my teacher's actions. I remember being in a shy and quiet 4th grader, an English language learner, struggling at home and at school, and knowing instinctually how my teachers felt about me from the ever so subtle bits and fragments of social cues I picked up from them. As young people we learn to weave together bits of action clues from the grown-up world and interpret all those actions into some kind of kid-friendly truth by which we then build our world and our own truths.

Yesterday, in the heat of being placed in time-out for having bothered his sister for the 4th time, my 6-year old son yells out how he loves dad a 'billion' times more than me. I have heard comments such as these before and I know how meaningless they are coming from an angry, out-of-control child being placed in time-out. But this time, those words stopped me in my tracks. I made sure he did not get the satisfaction of seeing me crumble, but inside I was stung, I was hurt. I emotionally pulled inside for a few hours while we drove around looking at houses (we are house hunting) and all along I knew what the right thing to do was, it was just hard to get there as my hurt struggled to close him off emotionally. From knowing the science of pain and suffering, I knew and trusted that the sting of those words would fade from my body in time and that I would not feel this hurt for long. As the Buddhists explain, pain is just an energy force that run through our body. I was going to not react until it faded.

As I knew it would, at around bedtime the words have lost their sting and I felt the hurt leave me, I felt lighter already. I pulled my son aside and told him how hurt those words made me feel and that dad and I loved him so much, and how special he was to us, and how being our first child, he was first imagined in a wish between dad and I. I then reminded him how people's hearts are delicate and easily broken and that words are very powerful tools that can cause great pain or great happiness. He apologized, kissed and hugged. He felt good that he could fix something and I felt great that I could let go and breathe....

As I walked back to bed with true peace back at my side I was reminded of Tyler Perry. I am a HUGE Tyler Perry fan. In his movies he emphasizes that forgiveness is not for the perpetrator, forgiveness is for us, it helps the victim.....and in his words, "There's nothing like real forgiveness, a deep-down forgiveness ..." . How true those words ring tonight.

How to still paint around kids

Trying to live a creative life and having kids is not easy. But making art is so incredibly important to maintaining my sanity and well being that I figured a way to do it....with my kids. We have this huge blanket we use for the floor, get all our supplies and we each get out palettes, brushes and colors. If each person (no matter their age) has what they need, they will get busy and let you work.

Here above is Nora's canvas. She uses the same one each time. It changes each time. The texture on it now is quite thick. I am working on a series that uses paper to build texture. They both have adopted my style and morphed it a bit. Interesting to see them follow their own ideas yet still pull some ideas and inspiration from my work.
Above is Luke's work. Not finished. He loves to build very think layers of paper. When it dries it feels more like a sculpture and he paints it. To him the mounds signify 'rocks'; an obsession of his. Will post pictures of most recent colors and textures soon.

Following our own advice to our kids might actually help US!!

Problems are everywhere. You talk to anyone and surely they are in the middle of some difficult issue in their lives, a tough decision they need to make, or a tough change must be implemented, etc. No matter what your status is in life you cannot escape the turning of the 'wheel of fortune'. Some days will be easy, some days will be like walking in peanut butter.

I had a very tough week this week. Every turn I made seemed to create a larger negative affect. The more I tried to dig myself out of my funk the more I seemed to drown in it. I was trying desperately to go back to homeostasis yet the more I tried the more I drowned in discomfort. While going through this, I reached out several times to my trusty Buddhist philosophy. In Buddhism you are encouraged to be with the discomfort and not fight it. Pain and discomfort is seen as mere balls of energy going through a predictable path, a path that will evade and fade away. Instead of utilizing valuable energy trying to make it all just go away, I should have just sat with it and allowed my toughs to settle and allowed my mind to see my problems for what they were; nothing.

In retrospect, It's obvious that I have a lot of work to do implementing the teachings of the Buddha for I still react no different than my kids do in times of stress. I have two young kids, ages 3 and 6. Every once in a while (or more frequently) they argue about very absurd things. Absurd to me of course. Obviously, to them, what they argue over is so important and seemingly central to their survival here on earth that it must be resolved that very moment. The grand dramatics around their arguments is so intense and so fierce that a neighbor might just think they are being beaten to a pulp. Yes, all this ruckus over maybe a wooden block of which we have dozens of, or some other insignificant item that was on its way to the trash perhaps. But in analyzing my own actions this week, I too am trying so hard to not feel the discomfort that I make it twice as difficult to get out of the discomfort. I should at these times take to heart the advice I offer my kids and (1) have them "take a deep breath", and to (2) "think about how just a few minutes ago you were fine and you could not possibly be dying".

Be like Water

Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way round or through it. ...-Bruce Lee

I am not one of those adults that you meet who gripes about their youth not being a bed of roses. I can certifiably say that I would not want to go back to my childhood, but that does not mean I would want it erased either for such lessons learned from such experiences have opened so many new doors that it almost feels like part of the grand plan of my life; as if it was all meant to be just so.

Growing up, I quickly learned that sometimes the authority figures everyone admires and adores are not the saints they are painted to be. I witnessed these scenarios enough to know that not all truth that is put out there IS truth; not all that we see, hear or told is truth. As a grown woman I could not be more thankful to such experiences for it has allowed me to connect with what we all call 'the underdogs' in every situation. These peaks into the secret lives of seemingly benign individuals has forced me to disconnect from their ideas and beliefs and propelled me to keenly develop an inner world in which I rely heavily on my instincts, my own experiences and own inner voice; but most importantly my own understanding on any given situation.

So when navigating through a political situation for example, there are people who advocate for themselves and ones who advocate for the larger whole. I have come to see that people who advocate for the greater good have often been the 'underdog' themselves. People who take a more humanistic approach to all interactions tend to have experienced hardship and suffering in their lives and have somehow 'worked through it'. I have also come to notice that people who have experienced hardship, and have not proactively dealt with it emotionally fall under the category of the ones who advocate for themselves.

So as a parent, I want my children to also adopt this unique humanistic approach towards other humans without going through all the same hardships. In order for them to develop this flexibility of spirit and this ability to work past even the smallest of hardships, we ourselves must not define or label ourselves by the pain we have suffered. We also must show enormous flexibility and poise when dealing with simple everyday problems. I once had a student who told me she loved her dad because he volunteers at a homeless shelter. Children have this innate ability to absorb and utilize all situations in their world as learning experiences, share with them all your tools in your toolbox. Before you know it, they will too be brave, speak up for the weak and fully believe they have the ability to change their world.

America's Next Top Shake Maker Contest

We are always making shake at home. Usually it's just milk and banana shakes and sometimes when we have extra fruits we will add whatever is at hand. While at Lela's we decided to each create our own recipes and turn it into a contest. I have been following the Bravo's Top Chef series for a while so this is what got me on this idea.

Here is Nora "reading" her recipe to me.

Luke trying his recipe....

Nora reacting to hers...




Mom drinking her shake...
The 3 drinks ready for judging by our oh-so-neutral judge, daddy.
Daddy tasting each shake while blindfolded...
Dad's reaction when he tried mom's drink. Not a good outcome for me...

Had a great little lunch on Dupont Circle

Dupont Circle has got to be my all time favorite places to just hang out in DC. I took the kids out to get a present for Lela's birthday at Bedazzled and then we got a pizza lunch on the circle.

Water looks good but I would not get in it....
Luke wearing his MAN hat......he's such a character.
Nora's new 'take my picture' smile.
She finished the whole pizza....oh yeah!!

Project we did at Lela's house

My mom had found this gem of a book in the thrift store. In the back the artist gives specific instruction on how to do cats on all sized boulders.

Here is Nora painting her own rock.
here is a page from the book. Aren't these cats just the cutest!!!?
I just fell in love with these fat kitties.
I ended up using coloring pencils instead of paint as advised in the book.
I did 2 rock kitties.

Nora singing....

I watched a movie that told the story of the Jackson Five with Nora and she was fixated on Michael and his brothers. Afterwards she was pretending to be little Michael.

Where's Luke

Luke refuses to be photographed at all. Here is what I get when he even gets a whiff of my camera. I hope this does not continue for long. any suggestions?

Making Pizza

The kids have been begging me to make pizza from scratch since this morning. We went for a walk to the fruit market and Nora began whining for pizza the minute she saw the pizza joint. I had to bargain with them and say we would make pizza instead. Luke was all excited until he had an hour-long tantrum which pretty much took him out of this activity.

The pizza came out looking like mana. It was roughly 3 cups flour, 1 tsp. salt, 2 eggs, 3/4 cup water and olive oil.

We used pasta sauce for the red sauce and cheese slices for the cheese. They came out delicious.